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#5890 16:48 28 July 2008 [+] 5 [-] ircnet #uknot
<@Rawr> Jesus Christ, that was the most pointless phone conversation ever.
<@Rawr> "Hi, can I talk to someone about bespoke software for your company."
<@Rawr> "Yes, you can talk to me."
<@Rawr> "Hi, we write software specifically for your industry."
<@Rawr> "Oh, we have our own in-house development team. We write our own software."
<@Rawr> "But we can write bespoke software for your industry, completely unique."
<@Rawr> "We write software specific to our *company* which is completely unique."
<@Rawr> "...."
<@Rawr> "...."
<@Rawr> "Ok, thanks for your time."

#955 23:22 28 June 2007 [+] 0 [-] essex
<@garthvader> wlel, if you compare www.hai2u.com too
<@garthvader> you'll note the angles are close enough for good use
<@aegis> ugh
<@aegis> i'm eating
<@aegis> didn't need to see that
<@Nemesis> you "were" eating
<@Assassin> you shouldn't have clicked on it
<@aegis> mmm
<@cake> didnt u know you're not supposed to click on hai2u?
<@aegis> that was particularly nublike

#700 20:09 03 April 2005 [+] 4 [-] oftc #offtopic
<DannyB> bash.org - The world's biggest circlejerk
<AlexG> DannyB: Offtopic tries, but we can't beat their numbers.
* riel changes topic to '<DannyB> bash.org - The world's biggest circlejerk  <AlexG> DannyB: Offtopic tries, but we can't beat'
* pinskia changes topic to '<DannyB> bash.org - The world's biggest circlejerk  <AlexG> DannyB: Offtopic tries, but we can't beat || Pinski really needs a job now.'
* pinskia changes topic to '<DannyB> bash.org - The world's biggest circlejerk  <AlexG> DannyB: Offtopic tries, but we can't beat || Pinski really needs a job now. (oh and a girl friend)'
<riel> I don't think you'll find either on #offtopic
<AlexG> pinskia: Maybe if you tried going out in the world and doing something with yourself instead of advertising yourself as a jobless man whore in the topic.
#535 03:34 31 May 2004 [+] -3 [-] Evolnet #gnaa
<Pi> who wants to know my dad's definition of "party"
<rolloffle> Pi: ooh me me me
<Pi> "yardwork"
<Pi> my baby brother is going to be so fucked up when he grows up
#540 06:39 31 May 2004 [+] 29 [-] Evolnet #gnaa
<h3n> DIKKY WHERE ARE YOU GOING LOL
<DiKKy> h3n: IM GOING TO SHOOT WITH MY COOL AIRSOFT GUN LOL
<h3n> dikky: do you live in a horrible place where real guns are outlawed?
<DiKKy> UH
<DiKKy> ALMOST
<DiKKy> LOL
<DiKKy> IT WOULD BE .. NOT GOOD TO SHOOT OTHER PEOPLE WITH REAL GUN
<DiKKy> BECAUSE
<DiKKy> THEN WE COULDNT PLAY THAT OFTEN
#33 23:01 25 April 2003 [+] 6 [-] IRCnet #uknot
<alien8> <alien8> it's the IRC channel for the uknot mailing list (mostly)
<alien8> <Jero_> Dunno about that, what I do know it that we're a topic lead, well mannered bunch of people dedicated to discussing technical issues in depth
<alien8> * Jero_ can't hold back the giggles for long ...
<alien8> <alien8> and discussion of pie
<alien8> <alien8> and nurses
#395 16:58 16 March 2004 [+] 1 [-] SomeNET #undisclosed
<Kneecaps> anybody up for some key signing?
<Kneecaps> nobody about :(
<SlayerXP> key signing?
<SlayerXP> as in "hello complete stranger I met on IRC, please sign my GPG key so people will trust the key more."
<Kneecaps> yes
<Kneecaps> thats right
<SlayerXP>   .  <- the point            ->  your direction of travel
#674 13:02 21 December 2004 [+] 1 [-] IRCnet #uknot
<adam|work> lo leica
<leica> hey adam
<leica> how's |work
<adam|work> shite
<Phil_> |work is fun
<adam|work> lise
<adam|work> lies
<Phil_> but you don't really work in a |
<leica> if he did work in a | work would literally be shite
<Phil_> I must have pipes and bars muddled up again
<Phil_> I thought | was bar
<adam|work> - vs |, where would you rather work?
#297 17:20 02 October 2003 [+] -4 [-]
<@Babbage> theres a phone number for checking train times and ticket prices isnt there these days
<@InfraRed3> sec
<@InfraRed3> i have that in my mobile
<@InfraRed3> 0800 77 66 00

-- meanwhile somewhere else on irc :)

<InfraRed3> thats the real number 0845 7484 950
<InfraRed3> I gave him drugs helpline
<christel> LOL
<InfraRed3> give him the number when he comes back on irc shouting :)
#52 16:43 27 April 2003 [+] -10 [-] IRCnet #uknot
<christel> what are them thing called
<christel> those things with one wheel
<christel> which you push infronty ofyou?
<scroteman> unicycle
<christel> and fill with stuff
<fredead_> tyres ?
<scroteman> wheel barrow
<scroteman> ball barrow
<fredead_> it dont fly ?
<scroteman> does if you throw it
<christel> i guess if you throw it off a cliff? :x
<fredead_> lol yes true
<scroteman> helicopter
<scroteman> no, that's just plain wrong
<christel> hehehe
<fredead_> fish
<christel> FISH!
#6171 14:36 27 May 2009 [+] 0 [-]
<parapete> i fukken love assembly haxxoring
<parapete> there's no jump to absolute 4 byte address...
<parapete> but you can push address; ret
<parapete> that's neat!
<@df-> it's not neat, it's silly
<parapete> yeah of course it's silly but that's besides the point!
<@df-> are you still vim'ing? or did you retreat back to emacs?
<@xwize> you fucking wannabe oldskooler
<@xwize> vim?
<@xwize> you fucking tit
<@xwize> get a fucking life, use an ide for fucks sake
<@xwize> er, i dont know where that came from
<@xwize> sorry
<parapete> i'm using eclipse you sheep shagging cunt
<@df-> nice speech, you must be proud!
#1035 16:18 02 August 2007 [+] -1 [-] Netgoth #orgy
<KissyCat> ew, my daughter just asked if she could get the bus to Gloucester tomorrow with her boyfriend. Why she'd want to I have no idea.
<denny> KissyCat: any town is more interesting than the one your parent lives in, if you're with your boyfriend at the time
<KissyCat> denny: shame she's not close enough to nip into London realy. Now THAT I could understand.
<denny> she could crash at my place  ;)
* denny runs
<syn> WRONG
<KissyCat> denny, what did we tell you LAST time you visited??
<arachne> mother first, then daughter?
#946 16:33 11 June 2007 [+] 4 [-] Perl.org #london.pm
<wiggly> I HAZ LINKZ FROM COW-ORKER - http://lolcode.com/
<lathos> WE HAZ DONE THAT ALREADY
<denny> WHEN COME BACK, BRING COMPILER
<osfameron> I AM IN UR BACKLOGS MAKING GRUMPY COMMENTS ABOUT KEEPING UP
<wiggly> I NEWZ IT WAZ OLD, JUST TESTING LOL!!
<denny> FAIL
#675 20:22 31 December 2004 [+] -5 [-] IRCnet #uknot
<fredead> TV sucks
<drPoggs> TV sucks
<drPoggs> especially when NTL have f*cked up and not give my decoder access to Discovery Home & Leisure.
<drPoggs> when the house pays for a package that includes DH&L
<Weety> yeah, you've missed all the Model Railways programmes today
#89 17:02 14 May 2003 [+] 1 [-] IRCnet #uknot
<adem> palaka root # emerge pie
<adem> Calculating dependencies
<adem> emerge: there are no masked or unmasked ebuilds to satisfy "pie".
<adem> :(
<alien8> root# apt-get -t fat_bastard install pie
<alien8> Calculating dependencies
<alien8> WARNING: Too many calories : INSTALL FAILED
#953 10:22 26 June 2007 [+] -1 [-] Netgoth #orgy
<Fox> it was denny.
<Fox> blates.
<syn> yeah
<syn> denny's into that weird shit
<Fox> i actually just typed blates. i think i'm gonna cut my fingers off.
<syn> plz do
<syn> take pictures
<Fox> syn: i'll put them in your coffee
<Fox> syn: then you can pick your nose and drink at the same time.
<syn> convergent tech++

#662 11:33 08 December 2004 [+] -1 [-] IRCnet #uknot
<}Night{> so a lizard is walking through the forest
<}Night{> and he sees a monkey sitting in a tree, smoking a joint
<}Night{> so he climbs up the tree, sits next to the monkey, and starts smoking a joint with the monkey
<}Night{> so they're chatting away, and smoking in the tree for a while
<}Night{> when the lizard says his mouth is a bit dry
<}Night{> so the lizard decides to try and climb down the tree to get into the river
<}Night{> but by this point he's a bit stoned
<}Night{> and instead of climbing down the tree he falls off into the river
<}Night{> so a crocodile, swimming in the river sees this and helps the lizard to the side
<}Night{> so the crocodile is like, 'what happened to you?'
<}Night{> and the lizard is like, 'well, i was sitting in the jungle with a monkey smoking a joint in a tree, when i fell in the river'
<}Night{> so the crocodile is like, 'smoking a joint with a monkey in a tree? no way, i have to see this!'
<}Night{> so off the crocodile goes into the jungle, until he finds the tree with the monkey sat in it
<}Night{> so the crocodile climbs up the tree
<}Night{> and the monkey takes a look at the crocodile, a look at the spliff, and is like, 'faaaaarrrkkk duuuuude, how much water did you drink?'
#48 12:39 27 April 2003 [+] -10 [-] IRCnet #uknot
<d4n> i'll have a 99 pie with a flake ta
#6242 16:24 26 March 2010 [+] 38 [-] IRCnet #uknot
<@murb> some obviously have better unions than others.
<@AndrewH> the only good union is a...
<@adama> one sliced up on bread with cheese
<@adama> oh wait
<@adama> that's onions
<@adama> no, there are no good unions

#194 14:54 14 July 2003 [+] 0 [-] phishy eurosong
<euromalta> asl pls
<@cpufreak> 16/f/canada
<euromalta> Did Canada ever enterd into the eurovision
<@cpufreak> no
<@cpufreak> as eurovision is for countries from europe
<@cpufreak> funnily enough
<euromalta> why did you entered in the eurosong channel?
<@cpufreak> well, suprisingly, I'm not 16, I'm not female, and I'm not from canada.
<@cpufreak> and I sit in the eurosong channel to talk to Chris, and a couple of
other people.
<euromalta> fuck you
<@cpufreak> o_O
<@cpufreak> what called for that style of abuse?
<@MartinF_work> You being a cliquey smartarse bastard? :)
<@cpufreak> :p
<@cpufreak> I just never expect anyone to believe me when I say I'm 16, and female

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