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#1 03:59 22 April 2003 [+] 10 [-] IRCnet #uknot
<Biddle> Oh, and the other really funny thing
<Biddle> A (rather nicely done up) Golf GTi full of 4 townie cunts took off from us out of the car park like a twat - ran a red light (saw the flash, so that was 3 points there) and him zooming off up the road (new forward-facing camera, no flash, another 3 points)
<Biddle> We pootled along at 30mph and three sets of traffic lights later, found him embedded in a wall :)
<Ser_Olmy> !
<scroteman> Shite
<Biddle> Couldn't be arsed stopping
<Ser_Olmy> hahahaha
<Ser_Olmy> not even to laugh?
<Ser_Olmy> in their bloodied faces
<Biddle> Nah, we might have to help then
#646 05:07 02 September 2004 [+] 0 [-] irc.rstoolkit.com #community
<W13> aaaaaaaaaaaaa..... i just downloaded a 2GB game... in *GERMAN* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
<Davy> HAHA XD
* W13 hangs self
#6231 23:17 03 March 2010 [+] -9 [-] Efnet #php
<Two9A> Slashdot has a good analogy. "C/C++ coders are tank commanders: close to the action, in deep. PHP is like a UCAV pilot: much the same firepower, but sitting in a comfy chair with coffee to hand. Python is an F-22 pilot: in the arena, but removed from the ground."
<Two9A> Any additions?
<haro> php is more like anti-satellite warfare, it's good for aiming at the stars but only leaves a mess of debris in its' wake
#868 15:23 18 November 2006 [+] -1 [-] Netgoth #orgy
<Tara> Right, so I'm looking at a sexy underwear site. and t0m's sitting next to me. he says "Oo, I like that site.. wait.. it's table based.. lame"
<Tara> sexy underwear.
<Tara> my speshul g33k <3
#561 19:20 07 June 2004 [+] -5 [-] ircnet uknot
<@Alasdair> cunts
<@Alasdair> I need a shit
<@cpufreak> you don't shit out of a cunt Alasdair.
<@leica> haha
<@Alasdair> Good job, as I don't have a cunt
<@leica> yet ironically an arsehole can be fucked
<@leica> no reciprocity

#880 20:38 05 January 2007 [+] 2 [-] magnet #perl
<Shevek> Java is a programming langugae for grown ups. Perl is like mysql... it's fine until it breaks, and then you're fucked.
<buu> Awhhh, porr wittle shevek.
* buu pats Shevek on the head.
<Shevek> Case in point: I can't even find out the stack from Perl.
<buu> Shevek: That's so tragic.
<clintp> Shevek: Consider debugging then.
<buu> Shevek: Have you tried looking under the sofa?
<Shevek> clintp: I did, that's how I know it's in Email::MIME.
<avar> THE STACK IS UNDER THE SOFA
<clintp> Shevek: Sounds like you started debugging.  Finish it!
<Shevek> That's the kind of place Perl would keep it. Makes hoovering faster, or something.

#291 20:45 22 September 2003 [+] 1 [-] IRCnet #uknot
<christel> Howcome is it you can sue mcdonalds if you become fat, sue marlboro if you get cancer, but you cant sue breweries for all the ugly people you shag?
#563 13:15 09 June 2004 [+] -3 [-] IRCnet #uknot
<@Rawr> Leaving for Le Mans in about an hour though \o/
<@SlayerXP> going to sneak into the elisa garage for a wank?
<@SlayerXP> elise
<@Rawr> What?
* Alasdair wanks Rawr
<@Rawr> You really are a deeply tragic and sad little man.
<@Alasdair> Thats a terrible thing to say about SlayerXP
<@Rawr> s/man/woman/
<@Rawr> Better?
<@SlayerXP> i can hardly be described as little
<@Rawr> You're tedious, Martin.
<@SlayerXP> talking to yourself?
<@Rawr> Repetitive, dull, boring and predictable.
<@Rawr> No, I'm talking to you.
<@SlayerXP> Rawr: I have bad points, to
<@Alasdair> dirty
<@Rawr> Hasn't it clicked yet that nobody actually likes you?
<@merl-> I do actually concur.
<@merl-> it's not that you're always a cock
<@merl-> it's that when you're a cock
<@merl-> you make up for all the times that you're not one
<@Rawr> And not in the comedy IRC sense of dislike. I mean the true sense
of dislike.
<@merl-> and you also seem to have a frighteningly large ego
<@merl-> and what's worth than that
<@merl-> there's no justification for it
<@merl-> you're a vaguely competent linux dork
<@merl-> you just need ..
<@merl-> a role model or something
< scoogle> are you offering merl? :)
<@Rawr> A personality that isn't completely contemptuous would be a keen start.
<@SlayerXP> I thank you for your opinions
<@SlayerXP> I have filed them in the approprite place.
<@merl-> I'm not necessarily suggesting that I would be a good role model for anyone.
< scoogle> but better than none?
<@merl-> hrmm....
< scoogle> heh
<@merl-> perhaps if the person that required it
<@merl-> was a crack addict
<@merl-> or maybe a paedophile

#48 12:39 27 April 2003 [+] -10 [-] IRCnet #uknot
<d4n> i'll have a 99 pie with a flake ta
#344 10:11 29 December 2003 [+] 0 [-] irc.dal.net #sanguinarius
<iCEhOT> erm
<iCEhOT> just get powermenu man
<Ven|Semiafk> powermenu?
<iCEhOT> yeah
<iCEhOT> look it up on google
<Ven|Semiafk> hmm
<Ven|Semiafk> google?
<Gil_AFK> look it up in altavista.
<Gil_AFK> once you found out what google is, look up powermenu in google
<Gil_AFK> you might try to find out what altavista is, by using a AOL search engine first, tho.
#151 11:04 19 June 2003 [+] -2 [-] freenode #debian
<ghido> hi could anyone suggest me a very good irc server? i have to run it inside an company and it must have a restricted access my User/Pass. Thanks
<SlayerXP> ghido: has your systems administrator given you permission to run an irc server?
<ghido> SlayerXP: i'm the system administrator
<SlayerXP> ghido: then how come you don't know how to use a search engine?
#753 13:40 28 July 2005 [+] 7 [-] ircnet #uknot
leicaWRK [~leica@gate1.steel-design.co.uk] has set mode +ooo andyd InfraRed Orac
leicaWRK [~leica@gate1.steel-design.co.uk] has set mode +ooo pndc ror scratty
leicaWRK [~leica@gate1.steel-design.co.uk] has set mode +ooo Ser_Olmy simon_ stoneboy
leicaWRK [~leica@gate1.steel-design.co.uk] has set mode +o Weety
leicaWRK [~leica@gate1.steel-design.co.uk] has set mode +o ^Khelben^
<@cenhinen> don't you like the other 2?
<@InfraRed> THEY BOTH SUCK ASS
<@InfraRed> AND DONT DESERVE @
<@cenhinen> they both suck off donkeys?
<@winjer> donkeys and asses are different
<@winjer> oh no they aren't
<@winjer> ignore me
<@cenhinen> ok
<@Mr_Flibbl> so you can't tell the difference between a donkey and an ass ?
<@cenhinen>  /ignore winjer
<@Mr_Flibbl> so next time your so says stick it in my ass ...
<@winjer> i was thinking of mules
<@Mr_Flibbl> whatever turns you on
#287 02:01 18 September 2003 [+] 5 [-] IRCnet #uknot
*** Rawr changes the topic to '<Rawr> Oh, and you smell of poo. <InfraRed> thanks, i am trying to master that'
<InfraRed> i fart in your general direction
<Rawr> I can't make out the smell of the fart over your 'natural' gut-wrenching odour.
<InfraRed> that could be dangerous
<Rawr> As could moving you near a naked flame.
<InfraRed> with IQ that low you shouldnt be able to use irc
<InfraRed> let alone a keyboard
<InfraRed> you're probably the only person with negative IQ score
<Rawr> Coming from someone who thinks the plural of 'sheep' is 'geese', that's big.
<InfraRed> plural of sheep is mince
<InfraRed> ie, you
<Rawr> The prosecution rests.
#380 13:22 19 January 2004 [+] -1 [-] freenode #debian
<ezra> cafuego: in telnet to port 25 on localhost i try to do "rcpt to: tester at localhost"  and i get the error that "555 Unsupported option: at"
<filp> ezra: many emails now use the @ symbol
<filp> ezra: it's a new invention
* SlayerXP sniggers

#5885 19:48 08 June 2008 [+] 6 [-] ZIRC #cogsbristol
[Capuchin is a guy]
<Capuchin> i use my bra as a purse
#754 15:25 29 July 2005 [+] 3 [-] ircnet #uknot
[15:20:13] <@merl> dude
[15:20:15] <@Mr_Flibbl> oh trainers
[15:20:20] <@merl> kiss my ass
[15:20:22] <@merl> they suck
[15:20:28] <Alasdair> you suck
[15:20:30] <@merl> no
[15:20:31] <Alasdair> i think they rawk
[15:20:34] <@merl> well dude
[15:20:40] <@merl> you haven't been laid since the 90s
[15:20:57] <@merl> and that was child abuse
#592 22:41 25 June 2004 [+] 5 [-] Evolnet #gnaa
<Pi> i am drinking caffee latte in a mining town coffee bar using some AP provided by the local dinkputer store
<Pi> this is an episode of friends waiting to happen
#369 14:39 10 January 2004 [+] -1 [-]
<@bb> Exchange Name:ATM LONDON ILFORD NODE 8_
<@bb> Anticipated Clear Time:23:12
<@bb> Progress report: ENGINEER ON SITE AND DEALING
<@bb> doens't say if its crack or dope
#268 14:55 27 August 2003 [+] -1 [-] Undernet #cisco
* darkelf_ goes off to get coffee and unhook phone
<ob0t> hmm
<ob0t> caffeine
<ob0t> good idea
<ob0t> make me all jittery
<ob0t> then
<ob0t> STABBY STABBY
#1365 12:24 16 October 2007 [+] 7 [-] freenode #defocus
<Werdna> jesus christ, she invites me to her room alone
<Werdna> and I'm thinking "ooh, this is good"
<Werdna> so she sits on my lap, and spends the next hour showing me pictures of some people I don't know on facebook :(

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