Random Quotes
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#924
23:42
14 April 2007 [+]
0
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GTAnet
#mta
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(Solide) And I'm on my steps to a life now, as I've got a girlfriend too.
(Solide) And I'm nowadays meeting him IRL.
(Solide) her*
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#295
11:50
01 October 2003 [+]
0
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<@ratx> jesus
<@ratx> there are women in the office
<@ratx> restructuring++
<@mcknut> wow, cool
<@ratx> 2 of them are even quite fit
<@mcknut> and they go round topless, yeah? that's what I heard
<@ratx> I'll ask
<@mcknut> can't you see, or have you been told to close your eyes while they're in the office?
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#715
20:50
16 April 2005 [+]
2
[-]
Blitzed
#blitzed
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<@Antony> fucksake
<@Antony> had a screenshot of irssi open
<@Antony> wondered why it wouldn't change channel
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#679
13:08
05 January 2005 [+]
1
[-]
IRCnet
#uknot
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<SlayerCE> bored
<InfraRed-> r
<RyanOC> Anyone know a free NNTP posting server? I have one for reading already but it doesn't allow posting.
<jtb> ey00p st0at0r
<SlayerCE> i was hoping natalie imbruglia would knock at my door offering copious amounts of sex in exchange for the use of my phone
<SlayerCE> failing that, brooke burke
<mal0r> did she ?
<SlayerCE> not yet
<SlayerCE> the corrs sisters have cut me out of their contract again
<SlayerCE> they keep refusing the clause where i have to treat them "like the cum-hungry sluts they are"
<mal0r> but the brother still ok with you ?
<SlayerCE> yeah, he's cool
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#255
13:45
21 August 2003 [+]
-2
[-]
phishy
n/a
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<Skank> i think i'll call up to your gaff after work
<dmd> no, fuck off, you can't play with my dsl.
<dmd> and I don't need you anymore, I have dsl!
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#6219
09:39
25 November 2009 [+]
8
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<blazeu25> last ep of the office was epic
<Sydonia> let me guess blazeu you like the american version?
<blazeu25> theres another version? lol
<Sydonia> the british version
<Sydonia> the american one is a remake
<blazeu25> i dont speak those languages so fuk it lol
<Sydonia> ....
<Sydonia> you don't speak english?
<blazeu25> if theres a british version it must be a different language no?
<Sydonia> blazeu... what language do they speak in brittain?
<blazeu25> ummmmm jap?
<blazeu25> africa?
<blazeu25> lol
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#315
22:27
22 November 2003 [+]
3
[-]
Undernet
#cisco
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<d4n> man these kids....
<d4n> what freaked me out was that the customer said that other similar companies had paid the ransom
<d4n> suckers!
<d4n> >I guess you have decided to fight instead of making a deal. We thought you were smart. You will lose more money that you could of paid.
<d4n> >You can increase your pipe ban IPs all you want and all we will do is send you more traffic.
<d4n> >Today is just a small sample of what will happen Sunday and every weekend until you make a deal. You have 1 hour to make a deal today or it will cost you $50k to make a deal on Sunday.
<d4n> >P.S. On Sunday we will increase traffic by more than 6 times what we sent today.
<d4n> >Be smart and survive or stupid and your site dies.
<adama> d4n : reply to the kiddies and tell them you don't negotiate with those who have poor grammar.
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#891
12:48
29 January 2007 [+]
-4
[-]
Freenode
##linux
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<LordFrith> So, I had been messing with this guys chair for a while in college. It was one of those $700 aeron chairs with 30 levers.
<LordFrith> Anyway, I knew he was looking to get back at me, so I got a mutual friend to mention that in my desk I had a small ball bearing that I liked to mess around with when I was trying to relax, and that by taking this, I would be really upset.
<LordFrith> So, he sneaks into my office and takes it, and then hides it in his desk. So I walk into his office, where there are about 10 people, most of who know that he has taken the ball bearing, and I ask:
<LordFrith> "OK, who took it? Tell me who took it!"
<LordFrith> "Who took the end cap to my penis piercing?"
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#52
16:43
27 April 2003 [+]
-10
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IRCnet
#uknot
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<christel> what are them thing called
<christel> those things with one wheel
<christel> which you push infronty ofyou?
<scroteman> unicycle
<christel> and fill with stuff
<fredead_> tyres ?
<scroteman> wheel barrow
<scroteman> ball barrow
<fredead_> it dont fly ?
<scroteman> does if you throw it
<christel> i guess if you throw it off a cliff? :x
<fredead_> lol yes true
<scroteman> helicopter
<scroteman> no, that's just plain wrong
<christel> hehehe
<fredead_> fish
<christel> FISH!
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#796
15:24
15 December 2005 [+]
1
[-]
quakenet
#lipex
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<@^i^> christ, what the hell
<@^i^> this snmp network management program I just plugged in is trying to
discover the entire internet like it's my lan or something
* ^i^ stops discovery
<@alex-extremegrr> lol
<@alex-extremegrr> J00 R TEH INTERWUBZ
<@^i^> it was like.. ok, I've discovered your routers.. and then I've
discovered all the connected subnets.. and all your peers.. so I'm
going to go and interrogate them now...
* ^i^ adds a filter to prevent it straying outside of his netblock
<@^i^> seems a number of people are operating with public as their public snmp
community with no acls though
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#596
13:29
29 June 2004 [+]
5
[-]
IRCnet
#uknot
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* adama changes topic to 'Alasdair is hereby banned from all textual communication! '
<Footle> that's liveable
<adama> he fucks me and women, a token gesture to both sides \o/
<adama> err
<adama> i meant men.
<adama> bollocks :/
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#831
11:49
19 July 2006 [+]
4
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quakenet
#lipex
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<@robjs> copper + scissors.
<@robjs> fibre + scissors
<@BenW> is this a new geek version of rock, paper, scissors?
<@BenW> copper blunts scissors? scissors cuts fibre?
<@BenW> fibre goes quicker than copper?
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#699
14:55
01 April 2005 [+]
0
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Undernet
#cisco
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<@EnemySpy> http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005142212,00.html <-- darwin award, surely
<@EnemySpy> "Dad-of-one Fabian Flowers, 19, died from a single gunshot wound after putting the shooter against his temple to test the safety catch."
<@EnemySpy> (except he already spawned one)
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#524
06:22
30 May 2004 [+]
-6
[-]
Evolnet
#gnaa
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<Ich> http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/elfbang.jpg
<rolloffle> "elfbang.jpg"
<Ich> yeah
<KiSSy> LOL I HAD TO CLICK IT
<h3n> it didn't get past my photoshopped elf sex irc firewall.
<Ich> too bad
<KiSSy> THAT'S THE MOST HOMOSEXUAL THING I'VE SEEN IN ABOUT
<KiSSy> FIVE MINUTES
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#611
22:02
09 July 2004 [+]
0
[-]
Evolnet
#gnaa
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<Dessimat0r> ah well, its another 'keep an eye on the car' night.
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#28
13:58
24 April 2003 [+]
7
[-]
ArcNET
#worms
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<Freaky> C: we need to start accepting donations for nb, then they could buy me a new monitor ;)
<C> Freaky: make news item asking for em, say why, see how many you get :)
<bart666> "HI LUSERS I WANT NU TV 4 MY POOTER FREE SHELLZ 4 MONEY OMG LOL"
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#5896
10:41
28 August 2008 [+]
0
[-]
netgoth.org.uk
#orgy
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10:02 -!- Emma [irc@cpc2-barn9-0-0-cust838.brnt.cable.ntl.com] has joined #orgy
10:03 < ryll> speaking of rapists, hi Emma
10:03 <@EdwardS> Emma isn't a rapist.
10:04 <@EdwardS> She always yells "SURPRISE!" first.
10:04 < ryll> she will be when I'm done with her!
10:04 < ryll> heh, gagging the rapist so they can't yell 'surprise'.. novel idea
10:05 <@EdwardS> WHat if they write it really quickly and show you a flashcard?
10:06 <@EdwardS> You'd better tie their hands up too.
10:06 <@EdwardS> In fact, to ensure a good, valid rape they should be properly bound and gagged before raping you.
10:06 <@EdwardS> And visible at all times.
10:06 <@EdwardS> Being startled is ALMOST like being surprised.
10:07 < ryll> I'm starting to doubt which direction the rape is occurring
10:07 <@Speedwolf> it's a rape off
10:08 < ryll> most things are
10:08 < ryll> or can be, with a bit of effort
10:10 <@EdwardS> That's a good way of resolving office disputes.
10:10 <@EdwardS> First one to successfully complete a rape wins.
10:10 < ryll> "Imma gonna rape you in the face and arse until you see it my way!"
10:10 <@EdwardS> Well. It's probably best not to try it in a law firm.
10:11 < ryll> are we talking penetration gets points, or does it have to be ejaculation?
10:11 <@EdwardS> As for their definition of "successfully complete a rape"; it involves trial and aquittal for success.
10:11 < ryll> because if it's the latter, boy howdy, my premmies are going to come in handy
10:11 <@EdwardS> I think that the success of the rape is directly proportional to the sense of violation the rapee suffers.
10:12 <@EdwardS> So, for example, in an argument with anyone here, triple penetration whilst showing videos of their mother riding a donkey naked singing
Phil Collins' greatest hits MIGHT count
10:13 <@EdwardS> But, in a small local council in religious North Wales, merely flashing an ankle, or an inappropriate hug with an arsegrab would be a clear
win.
10:13 -!- Emma [irc@cpc2-barn9-0-0-cust838.brnt.cable.ntl.com] has quit [Ping timeout]
10:13 <@EdwardS> Emma doesn't love us :(
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#708
00:12
07 April 2005 [+]
-4
[-]
ircnet
#uknot
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<@adama> enid : someone just told me wine gets boring
<@Footle> no, that was just necrophillia - dead boring
<@will-h> as opposed to the pope
<@will-h> dead *and* boring
<@adama> but both pretty fucked
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#154
11:28
20 June 2003 [+]
0
[-]
IRCnet
#uknot
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<adem> my mum's like that
<adem> teaching her to use google would be just too much..
<adem> she can't even point and click
<adem> it needs to be up, down and enter.
<Rwar> My mum's not quite that bad.
<Rwar> I even managed to explain how DNS works to her.
<Rwar> It took 5 cups of coffee and 20 Marlboro but we got there in the end.
<Rwar> I'm crap with analogies. I tend to go in to them in too much detail.
<Rwar> Like when trying to explain firewalls to my mum.
<Rwar> And explaining it like two islands.
<Rwar> The only ways off and on to the island are through the ports.
<Rwar> It was really bad.
<Rwar> I went on to start describing VPNs.
<Rwar> With the island thing.
<Rwar> The island sounded so cool in the end that I wanted to go and live there.
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#76
23:31
06 May 2003 [+]
-34
[-]
IRCnet
#uknot
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<Clive> James Bond as an aussie
<Clive> That's so wrong
<Clive> Throw another prawn on the barbie, Ms Moneypenny
<_Khelben_> gday mate, me names bownd, jaimes bownd from the aoutback
<_Khelben_> caslemain fwoar ex, shaken, not stired, and dont overdo the head
<_Khelben_> ah bollox, its dr nah
<_Khelben_> so when do I get to snog all the sheilas?
<_Khelben_> k, think ive overdone it now
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