Random Quotes
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#56
12:54
29 April 2003 [+]
7
[-]
Undernet
#cisco
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<tlv> Crusader: whut else is new ?
<Crusader> not much ..
<Crusader> mud_spike is licking my shoes .. as usual ..
<tlv> same shit different day ey?
<Crusader> uep ..
<Mud_Spike> oh really
<Crusader> mud, that was just a funny thing i said to impress tlv.. i didnt know you'd be watching ..
<Crusader> IM SO SORRY !?!?!?! !!!!!
<tlv> guess you'll not be gettin none tonight ey?
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#484
05:19
16 May 2004 [+]
2
[-]
FurNet
#ddrfurs
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* LittleWolfLS dresses in a Japanese sailor schoolgirl uniform
* Lenoh becomes all evil and tentaclerapes LittleWolfLS
<LittleWolfLS> DO NOT TENTACLE RAPE YOUR OPS WITHOUT PERMISSION!
<Lenoh> DO NOT PUT A SAILOR UNIFORM ON WITHOUT EXPECTING TO GET TENTACLE RAPED
<LittleWolfLS> damn, Lenoh's got me beat here
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#355
05:06
03 January 2004 [+]
-1
[-]
DALNet
#sanguinarius
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<Zyd> you'd only go clubbing if it involved actually clubbing someone
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#663
11:34
08 December 2004 [+]
2
[-]
IRCnet
#uknot
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<pixie> For this trick, you will need a Dell Poweredge 2650 and a compact disc (we used
<pixie> an SQL Server 2000 installation disc)
<pixie> Simply place the CD into the drive, close it and then open it again. Watch your
<pixie> audience gasp in amazement as the CD drive opens again completely empty!
<pixie> For added show value, you can open the case of the server and show all the
<pixie> internals, but with no sign of the CD anywhere!
<pixie> The secret lies in placing the CD on a slight angle so it's tilted upwards
<pixie> towards the back of the server. On closing the door, the CD will slot into the
<pixie> space between the CD drive and the first hard disc. NB - you will need two
<pixie> screwdrivers and a lot of patience to get your CD back.
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#231
18:54
30 July 2003 [+]
-5
[-]
Resnet
#resnet
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<Brucey> i have dusty stuff in my eyes and it hurts. i don't want them to be bloodshot so i'm not rubbing them >_<
<Shabble> the crack goes into the NOSE, you fool.
<Shabble> *sigh* the yoof of today.
<seth> you can rub it into your gums....
<seth> but eyes would be funny.
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#15
00:16
24 April 2003 [+]
7
[-]
Undernet
#centre
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*** Joins: ikia (longlive@suzana1.users.undernet.org)
<Nausikaa> ikia, your nick means "house" in greek
<ikia> 10x Nau :)
<adama> Nausikaa : and it means 'prone to falling down and costing too much' in english
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#379
19:25
17 January 2004 [+]
8
[-]
Undernet
#cisco
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<merl> the GIRL node with information multicasts on 224.0.0.233
<merl> to find out who has been elected as speaker
<merl> when the elected speaker is finished
<merl> a logical token is passed to the speaker last to request
<merl> who then transmits the negative information
<_is_> what if the token is dropped?
<merl> while all other GIRLs in the IGMP group download the negative information and assymulate as necessary
<_is_> does negative information age within the girl database?
<merl> it's UDP
<merl> when information is corrupted
<merl> the GIRL speakers all have a protocol to account for this
<merl> called
<merl> MAKE SHIT UP
<merl> when they MAKE SHIT UP
<merl> they all pass around the data to eachother
<merl> and add all the negative information together
<merl> so that the MAN in question gets in to what is called TROUBLE
<_is_> is there any way out of that state?
<merl> yes
<merl> the MAN node must change physical state and become transitory
<merl> and establish presence in a different GIRL node domain
<merl> this is affectionately called quit yer job and move to a completely different fucking place
<Cartman> be carefull that girl node does not get in wife node mode :/
<adama> as that removes any QoS between the GIRL node and MAN node.
<merl> sometimes a MAN node can combat the GIRL node worm
<_is_> ah but surely this plan is flawed... there is only a finite number of domains...
<merl> and spoof
<merl> the MAN node count to infinity expires way before the MAN node can move between even a small percentage of domains
<_is_> spoof as GIRL? surely not... thats too difficult
<merl> no
<merl> spoof as different MAN node
<_is_> too much random activity
<_is_> ah i c...
<_is_> but even secure MAN-WOMAN connections can be broken
<merl> some man nodes participate in a protocol called GAY
<merl> where they backdoor other MAN nodes and elect themselves as root
<_is_> eeek brain overload... dumping core
<merl> this causes GIRL nodes to take abnormally large amounts of interest in MAN nodes
<merl> and cease to function normally because they are in LOVE with the MAN nodes
<_is_> surely you can't su yourself
<adama> tell that to goatse man
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#300
09:47
05 October 2003 [+]
4
[-]
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<@DeadCat_> Actually, I don't think I'd even get sex by paying for it ;)
<@[Cookies]> to quote a much-heard phrase, the difference between sex for money and sex for free, is that sex for money costs less
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#757
11:19
04 August 2005 [+]
-36
[-]
ircnet
#uknot
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<@merl> I tried to convince my girlfriend that the reason she got headaches after we had sex was because my dong touched her brain
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#147
22:53
14 June 2003 [+]
-4
[-]
IRCnet
Query
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<ricky121> helllo
> Hello.
<ricky121> u busy?
> Nope.
<ricky121> ok to chat.....
> Sure.
<ricky121> curious, what U do with horses ?? ;-))
> Isn't it obvious?
<ricky121> kinda yes
> Well there you go then :o)
<ricky121> beastial or zoo ?
<ricky121> there is a diference
> Is there?
<ricky121> yes
<ricky121> i know !!
<ricky121> U top or btm ?
> Mainly bottom.
<ricky121> ok... so you know about 'winking' in mares
> Winking?
<ricky121> when on heat a mares vulva extends slightly otwards to attract the male
<ricky121> or the Groom !!
> Learn something new everyday.
<ricky121> and twitches sloghtly
<ricky121> slightly.....would be better
> So what do you do with horses?
<ricky121> to be honest......never done horse...... did have a donkey !
> Oh?
<ricky121> what have u done ?
> Very little.
> So tell me all about you and your donkey.
<ricky121> oh dear.....but guess that u would like to ;-))
<ricky121> well did have a female donkey yrs ago....and as im top..... used to have some fun
> Why did you have a donkey?
<ricky121> but ,, gotta be careful with them, they kick,..... both hind legs at same time >
<ricky121> was my yng brothers....... a kinda pet....
> So did you fuck it on a regular basis?
> Or more of a love thing?
<ricky121> wouldnt say regular.......just sometimes
<ricky121> oh no,,,,, i didnt luv it .....
> Did you ever sit there masturbating whilst you watched it take a dump?
<ricky121> no,,,,,cant say i did .
> Why not?
<ricky121> donkeys tend to have set dumping areas in a field
> You could always take a chair in to the field and wait.
> Maybe take a picnic too.
<ricky121> didnt turn me on.....does it U ?
> Absolutely.
<ricky121> lol
<ricky121> what abt horses?......the same apply ?
> Yes.
> I want to marry one.
<ricky121> guess that U also like watching them have a piss..........see ther big cock hang down
> More than anything in the whole world.
<ricky121> well i m ust say it is a turn on to see that big cock swinging abt between there hind legs
> Though I would like to point out at this stage that I only have "I like to do it with horses" in my infoline as a joke - almost a humourous thing. I have absolutely no interest in bestiality and quite frankly you scare me. I am now going to upload this conversation to my website and show all my friends what a fruitcake you are.
> Is that ok?
[Sat Jun 14 22:22:16 GMT+01:00 2003] ricky121 left private chat.
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#833
14:55
24 July 2006 [+]
-2
[-]
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* lambfruit reads an amusing comment about the myspace outage : "I felt a great disturbance in MySpace, as if millions of emo kids suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."
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#711
16:13
08 April 2005 [+]
0
[-]
oftc
#debian-uk
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<Robot101> why is my clock always so so wrong
<fledermaus> because NTP gets bored and wanders off into the distance,
muttering to itself about badgers?
<fledermaus> I'm pretty sure that's in the RFC.
<fledermaus> "when confronted with an error, or just if it's been a while, the
NTP daemon MUST silently give up, but give no indication, either
explicitly or by omission, that it has done so"
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#584
16:53
20 June 2004 [+]
-1
[-]
Evolnet
#gnaa
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<rolloffle> I'd swear that "cute" on 4chan is a euphemism for "kiddie porn".
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#187
23:30
09 July 2003 [+]
-1
[-]
nchat.org
#combustion
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<lisa> they r teaching blokes how to be better at oral sex
<lisa> and to strengthen their tongues by licking out a pot of yoghurt
<adama> where are they doing this?
<lisa> because there girlfriends are sick of them being crap
<lisa> so they have sent them to sex school
<adama> women buy puppies & marmite for oral sex
<lisa> i dont like marmite
<adama> the puppies do
<adama> :)
<voorhees> methinks the lady misses the oke
<voorhees> *joke
<adama> indeed
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#903
10:41
26 March 2007 [+]
-5
[-]
Netgoth
#orgy
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* mst has quit (Ping timeout)
* mst (matthewt@213.205.146.250) has joined #orgy
* ChanServ gives channel operator status to mst
* mst beats screen
<denny> screen beats rdesktop
<denny> rdesktop beats walking across the room
<drPoggs> wanking beats rdesktop
<drPoggs> vnc beats wanking
<drPoggs> wait.
<drPoggs> no, i take that back
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#341
02:58
27 December 2003 [+]
-1
[-]
Undernet
Censored
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*** Quits: esteem (Quit: COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key)
*** Joins: esteem (iamca@GBE000754691f45-TB00874185c832-cable.not-really.us)
*** kez sets mode: +o esteem
<esteem> sorry i was masturbating and the sperm hit my beer then i went to block the sperm with my hand my hand then pushed the beer onto the mouse.. that after hit the ctrl key and the mouse then hit the X F4 button
<kez> k
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#416
22:03
30 March 2004 [+]
-1
[-]
ircnet
dl-bar
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<@pils> and what about 14 day cooling off distance seeling laws?
<@alze> did you buy it from a man in a pub ?
<@alze> whats with the cooling off, was it hot ?
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#664
11:45
08 December 2004 [+]
-4
[-]
IRCnet
privmsg RE: #uknot
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<}Night{> ?
<adama> we had a vote, 26 to 3, you're banned \o/
<}Night{> ???
<adama> the glorious republic of #uknot
<}Night{> you are shitting me right?
<adama> no
<}Night{> lol
<}Night{> who started the vote?
<adama> will
<adama> he abstained
<}Night{> dear oh dear
<}Night{> since when did #uknot become vote-in?
<adama> since phil.
<}Night{> phil?
<adama> r
<adama> the annoying coq who follows cpufreak
<}Night{> oh... that's laughable. oh well, i shall leave people to their silly irc politics, i was only going to ask a question anyway :)
<}Night{> thanks tho :)
<adama> r
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#217
14:39
18 July 2003 [+]
-4
[-]
OFTC
#gentoo
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.---------------------------------------------------------------.
| Topic: no matter how good of an idea it may seem, make -j116 |
| bzImage just isn't |
| SetBy: s0be!s0be@163.118.102.233 Fri, Jul 18 2003 at 1:20pm |
'---------------------------------------------------------------'
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#652
03:36
11 September 2004 [+]
-2
[-]
efnet
#business
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<Work5Yrs> Was like that in half the fiscal Soviet threat any what the hell does this thing think I am saying?
<Work5Yrs> If I don't concentrate and dictate slowly, it says crazy things
<Work5Yrs> But I feel like I'm retarded if I talked this flow
<Work5Yrs> And how did she do the wire armor of sealer
<@badon> Work5Yrs: gah!
<@badon> turn that off dangit!
<@badon> Dictation software just makes you sound dumber than normal
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